21 June 2018

In recent decades there have been many rapid changes the values and living habits of society. The family has changed in ways that have also affected the way a couple relates to each other and the relationship between parents and children.
UIn the past, parents were essentially responsible for providing a home, food and an education to their children. From an educational point of view, parents provided behavioural models and rules that had to be respected, making these normative families.
Today when a child is born, what parents want most of all is to make their child happy, making today’s families affective.

 

 

One of the first things we should do is teach our children to say sorry, giving the time to do it

 

The relationship between parents and children, in the early years of a child’s life, is extremely loving, where tenderness, cuddles and meeting the needs of our children are what matter most.

 

As they become older, children become more demanding, and their tantrums may end in conflictual situations, where parents often lose their patience.

IA child who until just a few months before had only been praised and cuddled, may see his parents’ anger and disappointment as a message that undermines their emotional bond. Subconsciously, children may perceive this as no longer deserving the love of mum and dad and may be afraid of losing their love forever.

The fear of losing a parents’ love may make the child want to attract attention to himself in every possible way. IAs a matter, what your child is trying to do is understand if you still love them as much as before.

After every quarrel it is important to make up.

PFor children the uncertainty they experience in these situations may be destabilizing, making smaller children become insecure and concerned, and older children frustrated and angry. It is very important to ensure that these situations are brief and to the point, explaining comprehensibly, according to the age of your child, why we are angry, pointing out that although we don’t approve of a certain attitude, gesture or the action, we still love them very much.

 

“Mummy still loves you so much but (… what you did or said) is wrong.” Use a firm tone, but there is no need to yell. And don’t identify your child with the action that you don’t like.
“This is naughty!” is very different from saying “You are naughty!”
One of the first things we should do is teach our children to say sorry, then give them time to do it”. If your child does say he is sorry, don’t undermine what he’s said by saying things like “What’s the point of being sorry if you keep on doing it?”. There is no need to hark back to the past, if we’ve made up the quarrel that’s we where we start from. And don’t forget to give your child a big kiss and a hug when the quarrel is over.
If it’s you that has done or said something wrong, there is nothing wrong in saying sorry to your child.
This is a way of teaching them that anyone can make a mistake, that it’s important to admit it and also that you can fix it with a gesture that recognizes the other person’s right, as well as formal but, most importantly, emotional respect.
All this will make you love and trust each other even more.