Should he sleep in his own bed or the big bed? Sleeping in one’s own space is a big achievement in itself. It is important to realise when the time has come to let them sleep on their own, because keeping them with you any longer would be a gesture of selfishness, rather than love. Try to give them their very own space, where they can wake up and experience a moment of simply being on their own: only in this way will you give them the opportunity to manage a small measure of autonomy.

The next step towards independence is a bedroom. Very probably for the first four years of his life, his bedroom will be full of forgotten toys, and it will not be used as a place to play in because he will still need your attention – he will still need you – to have fun.

The bedroom does however “grow” up with its occupant: when he starts primary school, it will become an exclusive place to study with friends and spend time on his own, a world that bears witness to his teenage years and that will be strictly off-limits to you, at least without permission. It is a place where you may come across a secret diary lying on the edge of the bed, forgotten or left there intentionally because he still needs your advice. If not, don’t go searching through their things, you would only end up by finding evidence that you cannot use or reveal without damaging your relationship.

So, let your children have their own space, from an educational point of view, but above all as a matter of trust. This is a very important moment for them, a time when they understand what they have learnt over the years, and a time when they think about everything they have achieved. When all is said and done, you don’t have to be a grown up to want to be independent.